Know your enemy

Over the last couple of weeks I seem to have lost all my drive. I suffer this stage on most projects. The experimentation and planning is over, yet the final piece is still just a collection of concepts and plans. As I work on small elements of the much larger piece I lose sight of the finish and with it my interest.

No great revelation, rather a result of my own time management, isolated work and inaccurate planning.

It is a slow creep, only really noticeable once it is too late. I'll take action and Node will be ok.

On a very related note, I'm trying to cut Team Fortress 2 out of my daily routine (along with staying up till 3am and coffee intake).

Gamers Anonymous

I have made a very foolish mistake, which threatens to consume my life. I re-installed steam for the first time in two years.

To fill you in, I am one of those people who lost three years of their life to Counter Strike. I love the thrill of the game, the tactics involved, but mostly on a good day I could be sickeningly good at cutting down the opposing team. There was never a win though, that was why I kept playing and keep playing. As if one more match will end it.

I had a two month period without internet connection and I lost interest. Now I have re-installed steam a world of addiction has opened itself once again.

Counter Strike is obviously pointless, but so are all computer games and most of life if rationalised down to core needs. At least a story driven game is part of a long tradition of films and books, in the multiplayer though there are few of the revelation or progression that make a game intellectually rewarding.

Multiplayer games are a simulation, to varying degrees, of the human perception of life*. We view our day-to-day existence as a series of objectives to accomplish, an unending series which are often as repetitive and futile as the multiplayers. I dislike this repackaging of the real world, and the cashing in on my instinctive enjoyment of it.

If it is the experience of fighting in a world you will never visit, within a squad of human companions, against another squad of human players, I don't buy it. Although a games theme and setting often bring rise to interesting scenarios, I have never found that it is the source of my core enjoyment. The bliss of achievement and the frustration of failure are what drive me.

In my opinion the finality of a story or experience often define it. If a film were to never end you would inevitably become uninterested in it at some point and leave it for the next unending film. If it goes out in a blaze of glory you will remember that moment, reflect on the experience that brought you there and hopefully wish it hadn't ended**. The single player (or cooperative game) are a far more valuable creation.

I cant damn multiplayers too much though, after all they may be the purest form of a game***. In a balanced life they should be played in moderation, but as a developer I have to face the idea that I could (if I were to be successful) create something that some people would find addictive.

So anyway back to development news. Node is making progress, I'm currently making the networking elements. Ironic huh.

My very simple justification is that I don't have time to write a capable enough AI in the next three and a bit months. I'll be working on AI, and hope the final version will have challenging enough AI. The first version though, the alpha, the one I submit to my course, that will have poor puny AI.

Blog silence is bad, but dull posts are dull. I conclude to post as often as interesting things occur to my drink hampered cranium.


* In the long term life is more like a multi-directional single-player/co-op story, with an ending.
** To note, I don't believe that any film or game should have a sequel outside of its original story arc. That is to say a story intentionally divided in two is good, a complete story with some more story added later is bad. The wishing-for-a-little-more reasoning for a sequel seems a bad idea as you will almost certainly not do the previous installment justice.
*** Maybe what I aspire to play are not games, but interactive experiences?

Edit: My stats of steam shame are here. I dont currently play CS, I lose all my time to other games though...

Down Time

Holiday time is the slow time, also the liver damage time.

I am currently on holiday, away from computers and therefore away from development. That’s not bad though, this is the opportunity to get my head out of the code and think about Node. A six hour train journey is a fine time to work abstract game mechanics and artistic direction out on paper.

It often feels like anytime not spent building is time wasted. I don’t need anyone to point that’s very wrong but it’s a hard feeling to shake.

Anyway here’s to a good two weeks of dev down time. It's all going to come together after New Year.

Internals

The last post was described to me as being very arty. I guess thats what happens when I write late at night.

My style of writing (and thinking) often swings between my two dominant states of mind. Firstly there is the Artist, wishing to express emotions and meanings. The part that pushes me on to make my mark, on people and the world. The second is the Rationalist, wishing to silence the Artist, and just fit in!*

So when the artist is in control I write poetically**, fueled on deep thoughts. I mostly re-write the artists work.

Anyway, back to Node***. This internal conflict rears it's head (my head?) often in development. Having recently finished my prototype, I've been showing it round to gage interest. One of the most interesting conversations I had was with the nice people at boredomresearch. They approached it from a far more artistic point of view than had really been discussed in earlier development. Though I have been looking at making an art game, I still largely felt it would be part of the game scene. What BR saw was the possibility for art, like gallery art.

Like a spanner in the works, the whole idea of gallery art made me start looking at Node again. I feel as if I am on a tipping point right now; on once side I could carry on making an art-game, or I could make art. The whole notion of displaying something in a public place changes the interaction of the piece, and so the approach I should take in development. The pc-game has much higher demands to wow the user and entice them in with the promise of entertainment. The gallery-game has a far more accepting user; they are there to explore, not get they're next kick. The pc-game is indy, the gallery-game is professional.

What I do? Where do I go?

A line can be drawn down the middle though. Games can be art, Art can be a game. This is the conflict of Artist and Rationalist. In the gallery, the Artist is king. In the industry, the Rationalist will win.

Maybe to become a true art-game developer, you have to be the Artist and the Rationalist. Not as separate waring factions, but a united front of practical idealism.

I don't know yet. I'll tell you in six months time.


* ... is that just the conflict between the left and right side or my brain?
** ie. badly
*** since I am far from knowledgeable about either writing or the inter works of the human psyche, I'll shut up about them

Looking and Seeing

originally from naccarato flickr
Coding has a strange disconnection from its goal.

When any other artist creates it is a gradual process, the picture forms before they eyes. They can move and adapt to the ebb and flow of success and failure, always aware of what they have and what they aspire to.

This seems not to be the case with coding. You have a dream, you plan, and then you drive blind towards your final destination distracted by implementation. Whether or not the piece is what you had technically wanted, it will undoubtedly have changed. Your perception of what it is and what it should be.

Maybe this is a particular phenomenon of building a game from scratch*. It has struck be repeatedly never the less. As the first version arrives, I can view all it's flaws and potential, a time of reflection follows.

The artist steps back and for the first time sees the picture. It's all wrong, but almost right.

Sadly I find that my prototype has done the unsurprising, and posed many more questions than it has answered. If I weren't running by ever decreasing project time constraints, I would dive right back in and make prototype v2. The playable version. Sadly the warm ups are over, and the race must begin.


* ... and working in an environment where few around me are as interested or as active.

But what is it?

Things are moving well towards something. I realise my descriptions of Node are poor at their best (and non existent at their worst), I've had this problem a lot recently, but I have a solution! It comes back to the prototype, which I'm finally done with, to explain all. It's not worthy of putting out into the real world, but a video of it will - I hope - give a taste of what is to come.

The quality really sucks. I'll attempt to host my videos in future.

Always Be Prototyping

At some point in my code development I was nearing I working (bad) UI engine. A system of floating 2D text and menus that could be coded quickly and (relatively) simply. That all sat on top of a 3D OpenGL, and had some nice interface*. It wasn't perfect but I liked.

I was merrily blasting away, preparing to start game engine development when I ran across a lecture by Jonathan Blow (specifically this one). A turning point in my approach.

With reinforced views I became far more optimistic about my future as a games developer**. Prototyping was the way forwards.

So things changed, I started hacking out big chunks of code out. I dumped the third dimension, and game elements started to appear. I mentioned previously I was struggling to explain my weird vision of global warfare in neon, that changed. My friends understood, my supervisor understood, and most importantly I understood what I was making.

Shot of proto-Node - Some buildings, some attackers, some fun

A drawing board for new ideas. I felt no restriction about clean flexible code (within reason) and started building whole unit interaction. Ideas would come to me, and I could jerry rig them in to see how they work visually and interactively.

Finally things were going at a pace I could really have some fun with!

On a final note though, over the last week*** I have started to suspect my higher design goals have suffered to the pull of gimmicks. Identifying the problem doesn't solve it. There is still a long way to go.

I'm building towards a presentation of my game in a weeks time, so I plan to make a video of the prototype soon. Also, for those who know me, I'm going to attempt some early play testing just to see reactions and opinions of the game.

* I know that this stuff can be done so easily using a games engines. I am almost certainly a fool for not using one. I have my reasons.
** Hell, I just have to finish something good! How hard can that be?
*** I'm still in prototype stage. The prototyping time has been prolonged further than I would have liked due to external factors.