Gamers Anonymous

I have made a very foolish mistake, which threatens to consume my life. I re-installed steam for the first time in two years.

To fill you in, I am one of those people who lost three years of their life to Counter Strike. I love the thrill of the game, the tactics involved, but mostly on a good day I could be sickeningly good at cutting down the opposing team. There was never a win though, that was why I kept playing and keep playing. As if one more match will end it.

I had a two month period without internet connection and I lost interest. Now I have re-installed steam a world of addiction has opened itself once again.

Counter Strike is obviously pointless, but so are all computer games and most of life if rationalised down to core needs. At least a story driven game is part of a long tradition of films and books, in the multiplayer though there are few of the revelation or progression that make a game intellectually rewarding.

Multiplayer games are a simulation, to varying degrees, of the human perception of life*. We view our day-to-day existence as a series of objectives to accomplish, an unending series which are often as repetitive and futile as the multiplayers. I dislike this repackaging of the real world, and the cashing in on my instinctive enjoyment of it.

If it is the experience of fighting in a world you will never visit, within a squad of human companions, against another squad of human players, I don't buy it. Although a games theme and setting often bring rise to interesting scenarios, I have never found that it is the source of my core enjoyment. The bliss of achievement and the frustration of failure are what drive me.

In my opinion the finality of a story or experience often define it. If a film were to never end you would inevitably become uninterested in it at some point and leave it for the next unending film. If it goes out in a blaze of glory you will remember that moment, reflect on the experience that brought you there and hopefully wish it hadn't ended**. The single player (or cooperative game) are a far more valuable creation.

I cant damn multiplayers too much though, after all they may be the purest form of a game***. In a balanced life they should be played in moderation, but as a developer I have to face the idea that I could (if I were to be successful) create something that some people would find addictive.

So anyway back to development news. Node is making progress, I'm currently making the networking elements. Ironic huh.

My very simple justification is that I don't have time to write a capable enough AI in the next three and a bit months. I'll be working on AI, and hope the final version will have challenging enough AI. The first version though, the alpha, the one I submit to my course, that will have poor puny AI.

Blog silence is bad, but dull posts are dull. I conclude to post as often as interesting things occur to my drink hampered cranium.


* In the long term life is more like a multi-directional single-player/co-op story, with an ending.
** To note, I don't believe that any film or game should have a sequel outside of its original story arc. That is to say a story intentionally divided in two is good, a complete story with some more story added later is bad. The wishing-for-a-little-more reasoning for a sequel seems a bad idea as you will almost certainly not do the previous installment justice.
*** Maybe what I aspire to play are not games, but interactive experiences?

Edit: My stats of steam shame are here. I dont currently play CS, I lose all my time to other games though...