Down Time

Holiday time is the slow time, also the liver damage time.

I am currently on holiday, away from computers and therefore away from development. That’s not bad though, this is the opportunity to get my head out of the code and think about Node. A six hour train journey is a fine time to work abstract game mechanics and artistic direction out on paper.

It often feels like anytime not spent building is time wasted. I don’t need anyone to point that’s very wrong but it’s a hard feeling to shake.

Anyway here’s to a good two weeks of dev down time. It's all going to come together after New Year.

Internals

The last post was described to me as being very arty. I guess thats what happens when I write late at night.

My style of writing (and thinking) often swings between my two dominant states of mind. Firstly there is the Artist, wishing to express emotions and meanings. The part that pushes me on to make my mark, on people and the world. The second is the Rationalist, wishing to silence the Artist, and just fit in!*

So when the artist is in control I write poetically**, fueled on deep thoughts. I mostly re-write the artists work.

Anyway, back to Node***. This internal conflict rears it's head (my head?) often in development. Having recently finished my prototype, I've been showing it round to gage interest. One of the most interesting conversations I had was with the nice people at boredomresearch. They approached it from a far more artistic point of view than had really been discussed in earlier development. Though I have been looking at making an art game, I still largely felt it would be part of the game scene. What BR saw was the possibility for art, like gallery art.

Like a spanner in the works, the whole idea of gallery art made me start looking at Node again. I feel as if I am on a tipping point right now; on once side I could carry on making an art-game, or I could make art. The whole notion of displaying something in a public place changes the interaction of the piece, and so the approach I should take in development. The pc-game has much higher demands to wow the user and entice them in with the promise of entertainment. The gallery-game has a far more accepting user; they are there to explore, not get they're next kick. The pc-game is indy, the gallery-game is professional.

What I do? Where do I go?

A line can be drawn down the middle though. Games can be art, Art can be a game. This is the conflict of Artist and Rationalist. In the gallery, the Artist is king. In the industry, the Rationalist will win.

Maybe to become a true art-game developer, you have to be the Artist and the Rationalist. Not as separate waring factions, but a united front of practical idealism.

I don't know yet. I'll tell you in six months time.


* ... is that just the conflict between the left and right side or my brain?
** ie. badly
*** since I am far from knowledgeable about either writing or the inter works of the human psyche, I'll shut up about them

Looking and Seeing

originally from naccarato flickr
Coding has a strange disconnection from its goal.

When any other artist creates it is a gradual process, the picture forms before they eyes. They can move and adapt to the ebb and flow of success and failure, always aware of what they have and what they aspire to.

This seems not to be the case with coding. You have a dream, you plan, and then you drive blind towards your final destination distracted by implementation. Whether or not the piece is what you had technically wanted, it will undoubtedly have changed. Your perception of what it is and what it should be.

Maybe this is a particular phenomenon of building a game from scratch*. It has struck be repeatedly never the less. As the first version arrives, I can view all it's flaws and potential, a time of reflection follows.

The artist steps back and for the first time sees the picture. It's all wrong, but almost right.

Sadly I find that my prototype has done the unsurprising, and posed many more questions than it has answered. If I weren't running by ever decreasing project time constraints, I would dive right back in and make prototype v2. The playable version. Sadly the warm ups are over, and the race must begin.


* ... and working in an environment where few around me are as interested or as active.